Peter Zurkuhlen is an American tech professional who became known to the public because of his marriage to actor Tommy Dorfman. Tommy is best known for playing Ryan Shaver in the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why. Peter does not work in show business, and he has kept most of his life private.
Still, many people search for his name. Some want to know how he and Tommy met. Others want to understand what happened when their marriage ended. This article answers those questions in plain words, using facts reported by outlets such as People, TMZ, TIME, ET Online, and PinkNews.
One quick note before we start. Peter is not a celebrity in the usual sense, so some details about his life are limited. When a fact comes from only one report, or when it is not confirmed, we say so.
Quick Bio
| Detail | Information |
|---|---|
| Full name | Peter Zurkuhlen |
| Nationality | American |
| Birth date | February 19, 1988 (reported by one lifestyle site, not confirmed by Peter) |
| School | The Calhoun Academy, South Carolina (reported) |
| Work | Tech and startup roles, including Chief of Staff at Get Help (healthcare platform) |
| Known for | Being married to actor Tommy Dorfman |
| First met Tommy | 2005, through a mutual friend |
| Engaged | April 2015 |
| Wedding | November 2016, Portland, Maine |
| Separated | June 2021 |
| Divorce filed | February 1, 2022, in Los Angeles |
| Public profile | Low. He rarely gives interviews |
Who Is Peter Zurkuhlen?
Peter Zurkuhlen works in the business and tech world, not in film or TV. HollywoodLife pointed out that, unlike his ex, he does not work in the entertainment industry. Most of what the public knows about him comes from news about his relationship with Tommy.
He was often seen next to Tommy at big events. Photos from Getty Images show the couple at the Entertainment Weekly Screen Actors Guild nominees party in January 2018, at the InStyle Awards in 2019, and at fashion shows in Milan in February 2020. Even at those events, Peter stayed in the background and let Tommy take the spotlight.
Early Life and Education
There is not much public information about Peter’s childhood. One lifestyle site, Amomama, reports that he was born on February 19, 1988, and that he went to The Calhoun Academy in South Carolina. Peter has not confirmed these details himself, so treat them with care.
The age given in news stories from early 2022 matches that birth year. People and other outlets described him as 33 at the time his divorce papers were filed.
Career and Work
Peter’s work history is not fully public, but a few details have been reported. Several news sites, including MEAWW and NationalWorld, said that his LinkedIn page listed him as Chief of Staff at Get Help, a company in the healthcare space. PinkNews also described him as the founder of ChipChop Systems.
A chief of staff usually helps top leaders plan projects, manage teams, and keep a company running smoothly. That fits what we know about Peter: he works behind the scenes, not in front of a camera. We could not find a complete and reliable list of his past jobs, so it is better not to guess beyond what has been reported.
How Peter Zurkuhlen and Tommy Dorfman Met
According to TMZ, Capital FM, and People, Peter and Tommy first met in 2005 through a mutual friend. They were both young at the time. By July 2021, when Tommy gave her TIME interview, the two had been in a relationship for about nine years.
That is a long time to be together, and it helps explain why so many fans felt surprised when the news of their split came out.
Engagement and Wedding
Peter and Tommy got engaged in April 2015. They married in November 2016 in Portland, Maine. TMZ and Capital FM both reported these dates.
At the time of the wedding, Tommy was living publicly as a man. In 2017, she shared that she was non-binary. Later, in 2021, she came out as a transgender woman. Because of this, older news stories often call Peter her “husband,” and newer ones call him her “ex-husband.” Both labels refer to the same marriage.
How Peter Reacted When Tommy Came Out
In July 2021, Tommy gave an interview to TIME magazine. She explained that she had been living privately as a woman for about a year. She also said that coming out was not a big reveal for her, because she had been open about her journey on Instagram for a long time.
Peter showed his support right away. He shared one of Tommy’s photos from the TIME shoot on Instagram. His message, as reported by Capital FM and Out, said she was “gorgeous” and “fully you,” and that he was proud of her.
In the same interview, Tommy talked about how the relationship was changing. She said she and Peter had been in a nine-year relationship where she was seen as a more male-presenting person with a gay man. As a trans woman, she said, the kind of partner she wanted was different now. She described their talks as honest and open. In her words, they were working to “redefine our relationship as friends.”
Separation and Divorce Timeline
Here is how the end of the marriage played out, based on reports from TMZ, People, ET Online, and Today:
- June 2021: Court papers later listed this as the date of separation.
- July 2021: Tommy came out as a trans woman in TIME and said the couple was redefining their bond.
- February 1, 2022: Peter filed for divorce at a court in Los Angeles. The news broke the next day. The marriage had lasted a little over five years.
- November 2022: People reported that the two had agreed on the terms of the divorce, about nine months after the filing. A court judgment said the marriage was over and both people returned to single status.
Neither Peter nor Tommy made loud public statements when the divorce papers came out. Outlets such as Paper and Elite Daily noted that neither of them had commented at first. This quiet approach matches how both of them handled their private life in general.
Why Did Peter Zurkuhlen and Tommy Dorfman Divorce?
The most direct answer comes from Tommy herself. Her coming out changed what she needed in a romantic partner. She said she still loved Peter, but that the relationship she wanted was no longer the one they had.
Later in 2022, Tommy spoke on Rachel Bilson’s podcast Broad Ideas. She said that after the breakup, she started to feel an attraction to women that she had not felt for years. ET Online and PinkNews covered that interview. She also said she and Peter had used the breakup as a chance to build a friendship.
It is worth saying that nothing in the reports points to a fight or a scandal. The story, as both sides told it, is about two people whose lives changed and who chose to end the marriage in a calm way.
Are Peter and Tommy Still Friends?
They both said friendship was the goal. In 2021, Tommy said that they wanted to remain friends, and Peter’s public message of support showed that he was on her side. PinkNews also noted that the two stayed close after her transition.
We did not find recent public posts or interviews that show how close they are today. So the honest answer is this: they planned to stay friends, but there is no fresh public update to confirm it.
Where Is Peter Zurkuhlen Now?
Peter has kept a low profile since the divorce. There are no verified recent interviews or big news stories about him. For that reason, we will not guess about his current job, home, or love life.
If you want to follow his life, the best place to look is his own verified social media pages and professional profiles. Be careful with websites that claim to know his net worth or private details. Many of them copy each other and do not name a source.
A Short Note About Tommy Dorfman
Since people often search for Peter because of Tommy, here is a quick look at her story after the marriage.
Tommy played Ryan Shaver on 13 Reasons Why from 2017 to 2020. In 2017, she also received GLAAD’s Rising Star Award for using her platform to speak about LGBTQ issues. After she came out as a trans woman in 2021, she kept working in film and TV.
In August 2022, she announced that she was engaged to a woman, Elise Williams. People later reported that they eloped in 2023. In May 2025, PinkNews and Out reported that Tommy filed for divorce from Elise. Peter was not part of any of these later events.
Conclusion
Peter Zurkuhlen is not a famous face, but his story has drawn attention because of his long relationship with Tommy Dorfman. The two met in 2005, got engaged in 2015, and married in 2016. After Tommy came out as a trans woman in 2021, they separated, and the divorce was filed in 2022 and settled later that year.
What stands out most is how calmly both of them handled it. Peter openly supported Tommy, and both spoke about keeping a friendship. Since then, Peter has stayed out of the spotlight, and that is his right. If more verified details come out, this story may grow, but for now the facts above are what reliable news sources have confirmed.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Who is Peter Zurkuhlen?
Peter Zurkuhlen is an American tech professional. He is best known as the former husband of actor Tommy Dorfman. He has worked in business roles, including Chief of Staff at Get Help, according to reports.
2. How long were Peter Zurkuhlen and Tommy Dorfman married?
They married in November 2016. They separated in June 2021, and Peter filed for divorce in February 2022. That is a little over five years of marriage. They had been together for about nine years by mid-2021.
3. Why did Peter Zurkuhlen and Tommy Dorfman get divorced?
Tommy came out as a trans woman in 2021, and she said the kind of romantic partnership she wanted had changed. The two chose to redefine their bond as friends. No reports point to a scandal or a fight.
4. What does Peter Zurkuhlen do for a living?
Reports say he works in tech and business. Several outlets cite his LinkedIn page, which listed him as Chief of Staff at Get Help, and PinkNews described him as the founder of ChipChop Systems.
5. Are Peter Zurkuhlen and Tommy Dorfman still friends?
They said they wanted to stay friends, and Peter publicly supported Tommy when she came out. However, there is no recent public update, so we cannot say how close they are now.
6. What is Peter Zurkuhlen’s net worth?
There is no reliable public source for his net worth. Peter keeps his finances private, so any number you see online is likely a guess.
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